Trapped...

Lately, I've been feeling really trapped. I've been feeling trapped and so afraid of what's going to come of me. I'm only trapped because I'm pulling myself back, but if I play into what's happening around me, I'll be untrue to myself...
I'm one of the only people around who'll actually say what she's thinking...and when I do...apparently my thoughts...the ones that I thought were the most progressive...the most accepting...are..well, mean....maybe we aren't and can't always be what we want...maybe our thoughts of ourselves can't ever and will never be paralell with those of others...
I mean..the phrase "live alittle" means nothing to me because i AM living when I stand up for some of the things I believe in...

I AM living alittle when I listen to lauryn hill, wu tang, common, lupe, stephanie mills, luther vandross, and the delfonics instead of gucci mane, lil wayne, and soulja boii..

I AM living alittle when I try my best to treat the people around me with respect and respect their opinions, whether different or the same---the same way I encourage people to do so through race, age, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomix status, etc...

I AM living as a 16-year old who's never experimented with nor do i WANT to experiment with drugs and sex...

I AM living alittle when I write, when I color, when I play with play-doh...

I AM living alittle...As a matter of a fact, I'm living as MUCH as I feel possible right now, and I try my best to let everyone else live and love as much as they want, so WHY is it a problem when I want to do so?...

Is it that I point out the things I don't appreciate as much as the things I do?--i actually only do that with music but Ive never even said that gucci n wayne and them are bad...just that they dont talk about things...they have so mnuch potential I just wish they'd rap more progressively...but hey maybe they are progressive outside of my mindset...but teach me i want to know...
Is it that I don't care enough about your needs?
Is it that you're so trapped in the world of dying that your jealousy causes you to shun me for living as much as I want? ..
Tell me because I'm not getting it...
I'm lost and it starts to get hard to live when you make bad comments about my gestures...
I'm trying to live, but when theres so many other people around you, who aren't letting you....thats hard to do...

Was "live and let live" just a tease phrase?